Hiya young Dart
You have done so well coming here and asking for advice and help.
In alcoholic families, we all have our roles. Mine is scapegoat, my sister is the hero and Dad is the enabler. Here is some information about that.
dysfunctional families Alcoholic Family Roles Alcohol Self-Help News
What is undeniable is the pain we feel. Some of that for me comes from the lack of honesty that goes with the whole system. It drove me into doing self destructive things. It takes a while to have the strength to pull out of our roles. We learnt them from a very young age. They are all we know and it's scary to do something different.
I think from my experience, the first step was understanding. Asking for help is great and then things will start to change if you get yourself to a meeting.
Good luck and Happy New Year.