Old 12-27-2007, 02:37 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
marle
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
. "I want to know if there are any parents out there who feel at
some point "enough is enough" and they accept that their love
is not going to be returned by their addictive adult child. I am
ashamed to say it but I am at the point that I pretty much am
wrung out and don't have a lot more to give"

Yup I got to that point, took 7 months away from my daughter and did what was best for me. Started living my own life. It was not easy and still is not some days. But I firmly believe that I am giving my daughter a gift, the ability to live her life for herself. If I am always there to fix her messes, she never learns that she does have the strenghth to do it herself. We are taking baby steps toward a different relationship. One in which I no longer try to force an outcome. I just love her and let her find her own way. So far it is working, but it took those 7 months and me coming up with some pretty firm boundaries (ie no enabling) for it to work at all. I realize that it may change tomorrow and I may have to go back to no contact. I am willing to do that rather than go back into the h*ll with her. Dixie, you can have a better life. You can learn to let go of your son and let God take over. You can say no. I have found that if I say yes and I don't get the outcome that I expect it only builds up resentments in me. That translates to hating my daughter and that is not fair to her. Addicts will use us if we let them. You can stop anytime. It is okay. Hugs, Marle
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