Wow.
I'm with 51Anna and Carol.
Hope that helps. *shrug*.
Educate yourself and find out what 'enabling' is - and resolve not to do it. You might need to make some resolutions between yourselves also - and any rules made - KEEP them.
I had to also draw an inerasable line ... it was by far the hardest thing I've ever done.
I'll keep you in my prayers.