Marle,
She'll lose him when and if she is ready to lose him. I know that where my AD is right now physically and mentally was all HER doing and for HER reasons. Because of that, it will be a lot stronger because it's what SHE wants; not what we want. The main thing she does know and she knows it well is that we have boundaries and we are willing to enforce and strengthen them when we need to. If she wants to stay within the bounds, her behavior needs to be "clean"; if not, she's out. That's HER decision to choose which and ours to enforce. It keeps a better balance that way.
I have learned that I cannot control her but I can control how much she controls ME. I'm a much more sane person because of that!
Hugs,
Marteen