But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.
Here is a fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept.
He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees.
If this sounds like your son there is really nothing you can do for him but there are pleanty of alternitives for you. Getting yourself into a 12 step program like al-anon might in the end give you the information you need. Your title says it all TOUGH LOVE but by you getting involved you may end up a power of example.
All those things your son is trying to stay away from booze put me at still not that bad and it took another 5 years or so to see the light. People do recover if I can do it anyone can. In the end I was almost dead then something told me I was going to live like this for the rest of my life. I knew I was hopless and I prayed for the end. I didnt get the end I was praying for but what I got was sober and the end of my drinking and druging one day at a time.