Tough Love?
I remember when my son was a little boy, 38 years ago. He was difficult to handle, and many people told me he should be on Ritalin, which was new then, and used to manage mostly little boys who were "hyperactive." I didn't want my son labelled, so we managed somewhat with diet, changing schools, psychologists, and stumbled through the years, through college and career building. Now, he has lost his high-paying job on the West Coast, is clearly addicted to drugs, didn't finish three end-to-end rounds of rehabilitation nine months ago, and is moving east to live with us while he makes a new start for himself. Everyone says we can't do it for him, he has to want to recover, and he says he needs to leave the town he lives in, the triggers, the friends and so on. But in the midst of relocating, he used drugs yesterday, showed up very stoned and unable to really talk or walk well at the Christmas dinner he was invited to. I got the report from a relative who was at the dinner, too.
Now, I'm getting scared. My intention was to let him move into the separate quarters we have here, and presume that he won't be using drugs here, that his intention is to live this new life without drugs. It seems that he can't stop using, if he's unable to abstain while supposedly packing to leave tomorrow to drive across the country.
I have no idea whether to ignore this "elephant in the living room" when he arrives, or to tell him my concerns about his denial.
I need help, lots of it, and I need it right away. It takes five days to drive across the country. Thank you for any ideas you can give me. Nieuanima