I feel exhausted and I am glad I found this board. So, let me give you my life story..
My DH & I have been married for a little over 5 years. Our first (and only so far) child is 20 months old. We are each other's best friend. We share the same interests. We enjoy doing things together. We talk to each other all the time like best friends do. We share everything with each other. We have fun together. (Don't worry, we also have separate friends, etc. We aren't glued at the hip!)
However, one thing has been really dampening my affection towards DH over the past year or so. And it is his drinking. DH was active duty in the Marine Corps for 4 years and got out in 2006. While he was in, we enjoyed partying with everyone on the weekends. We were young & without kids. It was a fun time. It seemed like after he got out of the MC, he really developed a strong habit of drinking. I noticed that he would just always "go overboard". You know the point when someone is drinking and they are a little loosened up and then if they drink just a little more, they become irritable or irritating, mean, rude, annoying, etc etc. Well, I noticed that DH was becoming that mean/rude person alot more often than I ever remembered. He has never been abusive or anything like that, just rude & unpleasant.
Well, he has continued this drinking habit despite countless conversations about how I hate who he is when he drinks like that. I feel like I give up on it because he will be rude & drunk one night and get all irritated at me because I don't really talk to him that much just because I know he is drunk & unpleasant. So, if I try to explain to him why I am not talking to him or whatever while he is drunk, of course that does absolutely no good...because then he just gets defensive about it. So then, the next morning, he will always be all lovey-dovey and say things like "I'm going to cool it on the drinking" or whatever, but it never happens.
It really makes me mad because I used to enjoy when we would "go out" together or with friends and have a few drinks. But anymore, it becomes a hassle because he acts like a 15 year old that is drunk for the first time and I feel like the 22 year old that is babysiting him. And then it is no fun for me at all. And you know, it wouldn't bother me that much if this only occured maybe a couple times a year but anymore, it is at least twice a month, if not more. And even if he doesn't get *that* drunk, his drinking is alot more frequent than I am comfortable with.
For example, I bought a fifth (750ml) of Jim Beam on Thursday for a recipe I was baking. I used 4oz of it. It was completely gone as of last night. And he worked on Thursday night so I know he didn't drink any that evening before work. He works from 5pm - 3am. And he only drinks in the "evenings" after he gets off of work or if he isn't working that night. So in the time period of probably 4am Friday to 10pm Monday, he drank a fifth of Jim Beam, plus probably 7 or 8 bottles of beer we had at the house. Plus, we went out on Friday night to celebrate my SIL's 30th bday and we both had several drinks over the course of 7 hours. That might not seem like alot to some people, but to me, (who is a moderate drinker) that is alot.
I was mad at him last night, freakin Christmas Eve!, because I realized that he drank all of that and he was drunk so I'm sure none of it went thru to him. I hate it because it is the ONE thing that just totally puts me off from him. It makes me totally unattracted to him. And we have had the discussion so many times, I am just tired of it. I was thinking today that I guess the only option is to go see a counselor about a possible alcohol abuse problem? I love him but I hate feeling unattracted towards him because of this behavior.