Originally Posted by
DesertEyes 
Before I can determine if the words I say hold a "necesary truth" for another person to hear I first have to determine how it is that I came by the wisdom with which I can _know_ what is necesary for another person.
Hi Mike:
I can't speak for Miss, but I certainly didn't interpret her statements the way you are. She never claimed that she knew what is necessary for another human being to hear.
1. Is it true?
2. Is it kind?
3. Is it necessary?
It's just a checklist that she goes through before she opens her mouth.
Originally Posted by
DesertEyes I always _knew_ what my alcoholic ex-wife needed to hear. I _knew_ the truth she needed to confront. In al-anon I have learned that I was in denial of my own arrogance. My ego had gotten so out of control that I deceived myself into believing i was _her_ Higher Power.
Mike, I don't think that Miss said what she said out of arrogance and ego.
Originally Posted by
DesertEyes I know today that only a licensed health care professional has the education, schooling and experience to give advice to another person. For me to take on the role of a doctor when I am not one is the ultimate act of arrogance. To think that because certain truths were important for me to hear at one time makes those truths also important for another person to hear is an extreme example of showing contempt for that other persons individuality.
Mike, all of this because of what Miss said? I don't get it.
Originally Posted by
DesertEyes Alcoholics use their mouths to try and control others thru guilt and manipulation. As a codie, when I am active in my disease, I use my mouth to try and control others thru advice. Both addictions are diseases of the ego. The alcoholic thinks he's so smart he can talk anybody into anything, the "co-dependent" thinks they're so smart they can fix anybody by telling them their "necesary truths".
The way I see it the person who has been doing the controlling and directing here has been you. After all, you are a moderator who struggles with codependency. That's not always a good combination.
Peace.