Before I can determine if the words I say hold a "necesary truth" for another person to hear I first have to determine how it is that I came by the wisdom with which I can _know_ what is necesary for another person.
I always _knew_ what my alcoholic ex-wife needed to hear. I _knew_ the truth she needed to confront. In al-anon I have learned that I was in denial of my own arrogance. My ego had gotten so out of control that I deceived myself into believing i was _her_ Higher Power.
I know today that only a licensed health care professional has the education, schooling and experience to give advice to another person. For me to take on the role of a doctor when I am not one is the ultimate act of arrogance. To think that because certain truths were important for me to hear at one time makes those truths also important for another person to hear is an extreme example of showing contempt for that other persons individuality.
Alcoholics use their mouths to try and control others thru guilt and manipulation. As a codie, when I am active in my disease, I use my mouth to try and control others thru advice. Both addictions are diseases of the ego. The alcoholic thinks he's so smart he can talk anybody into anything, the "co-dependent" thinks they're so smart they can fix anybody by telling them their "necesary truths".
My sponsor tells me it is not necesary for me to believe in a Higher Power. Every time I open my mouth and give advice the whole world can see that I _do_ believe in a Higher Power, and that I believe It is me.
Mike
