Honesty without compassion........
I am both in AA and Alanon, and I receive weekly readings online from a place called Wisdom of the Rooms. Today's reading is copied below. I found it very meaningful, because my sponsor mentioned to me that we can often "take our own inventories AT others in recovery. Although it is written by and for recovering A's, it applies to me as a recovering Codie as well.
"Honesty without compassion is hostility.
Before recovery, I had a lot of resentments I was unaware of. The burden of these buried feelings was heavy, and they were often expressed in a passive aggressive way when I gave my opinion or offered unasked for advice. Thinking I was just being honest, I've now come to see I was often lashing out and being mean.
When I started working my AA program, I discovered a tool for uncovering, discovering and eventually discarding these resentments. It's called a fearless and thorough 4th Step. When I first started it, I imagined I had one or two resentments at most, but I soon found that I had well over a hundred! No wonder I was so spiteful.
By working the rest of the steps, I've been able to let go of these resentments and something miraculous has happened - I've developed compassion for others (and myself). Freed from petty resentments, I now identify with the struggles we all share as we make our way through life. I'm not better than, nor worse than anyone else, and compassion now allows me to be open with and thus deeply connected to others.
Today my honesty is based on true compassion. "