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12-23-2007, 11:02 AM

# 4 (permalink)

ccirider

Member

Join Date: Nov 2007

Location: Des Plaines,IL

Posts: 187

Quote:

Originally Posted by M_in_SF

I left him a month ago and I'm pretty relieved.

Hi M:

It sounds like you made a good choice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by M_in_SF

However, I keep having a nagging feeling I'll never meet anyone again. I'm decent looking, have a good career, but I am 44 and I feel like my age really decreases my chances of finding a good partner.

Look at it this way: if you were to have stayed with him, you would have only gotten older and then it would have been even that much harder to find a partner. You got out while you were still young (44 isn't old), you are decent looking, and you have a good career. How many women are 44, getting a divorce, have 3 or 4 kids to support, minimal education, and no good job? You are not starting out from the bottom of the barrel here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by M_in_SF

I was a member of Al-Anon 10 years ago, but unfortunately stopped going to meetings. When I was with my alcoholic boyfriend, he was drinking at least a 12 pack of beer a night when we'd go out on weekends. He said it was no big deal because it wasn't hard liquor. He also spent a lot of time bitching about his ex-wife

It sounds like he was also codependent (addicted to his ex-wife). I bet he was looking for sympathy from you because of what he went through with his bitchy ex-wife? Poor baby.

Quote:

Originally Posted by M_in_SF

and I had a feeling he'd be bitching about me in the near future.

You got it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by M_in_SF

I kept feeling like I wanted to stay with him because I couldn't find anyone better.

You wouldn't say, "I feel like I want to eat". You would just say, "I want to eat". Now, let's cut out the "I kept feeling like" and see what we have. We are left with, "I wanted to stay with him because I couldn't find anyone better". Holy cow, is that a true statement? Ah, there is nothing like truth and honesty, huh? Let's change the statement so it's at least a true statement. Therefore, we have, "I wanted to stay with him because I believed I couldn't find anyone better? The question is do you still believe that?