My XAH was in jail 7 times. The first 6 times they kept him no more than a week and then he was either allowed to bond out or they released him. This last time, it never even occurred to me that they would keep him. I was
totally panicked! I thought he was going to be out in a few days and walk back through my front door. Ray, I was terrified.
I was terrified of going back to living the way we had. I was terrified that I was going to go totally off the deep end and do something to him that would land me in jail. I changed the locks. I looked into a restraining order. I went to a divorce lawyer and paid the money on the spot. I was living on pure fear-induced-adrenalin.
Do I know how you feel? Ah, yes, my friend. Only too well.
But then, of course, they never let him out. That was 16 months ago. If I had known then that he was going to be sent away for such a long rehab, would I have still divorced him? Would I have waited to see how it turned out? I don't know. I know I was so afraid at the time that I did everything I could think of to protect myself and my sons physically, legally, financially and spiritually.
But now, after seeing him 16-months clean......I have to wonder.
I don't think you are wrong to give your marriage one last chance. You know the odds, and you know the options. But you also know that you did everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING humanly possible to give it one last shot. There will be nothing on your conscience.
Keep your angels around you, Ray--Forgiveness, Gratitude and Faith.
((Hugs))
Babs