Thank you all for your support. Still no word from my A, but I took my first pill last night. I feel a teenie tiny difference, but its more like a drowsy like feeling, I like it though, it is for sure a start. I'm trying to do the best I can. In speaking with people who know my A, he apparently was up to his antics before the dissaperance once again, The crack. The more I look at the situation, the more I see he keeps running to a place where drugs and money are VERY EASY to come by, especially with the other woman too.
I am so thankful for you all, I can do this, I am mad I didn't do it sooner. Ogly, I had nothing to be afraid of, you were SO right. It was just a matter of doing it. The doc even gave me these first 30 days free, until I come back in a month to see him. I thought that was nice.
I am looking foward to the therapy with the hopes it will help me even more. I will have to see.
Thank you all for your help and prayers....