Rahsue,
I am going through this right now. My AD is not in recovery but makes noises about wanting to stop. I just recently got the hang of detaching.. Now as I practice everyday, detaching, I am beginning to see how it benefits my daughter and I on a couple of levels. I can have a peace I have not known for many years. I can also in the blink of an eye, be back in that place of high anxiety,trying to contol something that isn't mine. surrender, surrender. In detachment, I can focus on the positive with her and remain there . For me it is about accepting, and renewing that everyday. Being in a positive place keeps my mind and heart clear and allows me to be more aware of how I can help as the opportunities present themselves. It is also about reminding myself, it is her life, therefore her choices ,her work and her process and acknowledging that she has all that she is and all that I have taught her to drawn on if she chooses. I need to trust her. I already see some changes in how she is experiencing me, because I refuse to take responsibility for her disease and the consequences of it anymore. I am starting to see some positives in how she is relating to me.I think she, deep down is loving how I have removed myself. I don't know when she will choose to want to be well, and that it is her timetable, not mine, but I know that my job is not to be part of the problem, to provide support where I can, mirror her in a loving but clear way, and PRACTICE , PRACTICE, PRACTICE maintaining the boudaries I have set out . Hope this helps in some way. a
for you.
Grateful2b