My 30 year old AS was "caught" in a relapse recently. He lives in the northern part of the state with a friend and his family. Last night he called and was sooo depressed and remorseful. It is as though someone smacked him in the face and he realized that he has lost his home, possessions, friends, and band. He talked for two hours about how he hates the circumstances of his current existance and how he doesn't have money for gifts. He wants to give gifts even though they are not important to us at all. His greatest gift would be sobriety. Actually, it is the present I wish he would give himself. He is sad and sick. He may or may not be using today, but his sadness cannot be denied.
To deal with my own recovery, I see a counselor, take a mild antidepressant, and attend a weekly Alanon meeting. I read selections from Melody Beattie's books and Alanon literature. I am not the insane basketcase that first posted to this site a while back. I feel compassion for my son, but I cannot let my life be controlled by the uncontrolled.
I often read around on SR to get support and to keep up with the husbands, wives and children. I send prayers again for all of us who know too much about the family illness of addiction. Hugs to all of our last and found.
:praying