Quitting, what to expect, what we did.
What a topic. Here is my experience.
The first 6 months my head seemed to be spinning, I could not quiet it down, so many thoughts, my brain seemed to race. I spent a lot of time driving around as I could not face being at home. My home situation was not the best at the time. I went to as many meetings as I could. Although it seemed I could not remember exactly what was said when I left the meeting I always felt hope. I was frightened, excited, happy, sad, angry, anxious, and so many other emotions some times all at once. I am thankful for the suggestion of 90 meetings in 90 days because it did ease my race brain although it did occur on and off for about 6 months. I occassionaly experience this today but have the tools to deal with it because I stuck with A.A. and worked the steps, got a sponsor, read the book, have gone to regular meetings, etc...
Physically, my hands shook for about the first 2 to 3 months. It was embarrassing and I did my best to hide it. My liver was enlarged and painful. I drank lots of water and started taking B vitamins (Thiamin is a vitamin given to alcoholics since it is depleted by the chronic alcohol use). My memory seemed to not be working, I had a hard time remembering things.
After over 6 years of sobriety, I found a link on this site to a PAWS website. This site was very insightful as to what I had experienced during my recovery. A lot of the physical and mental issues I dealt with in early sobriety could be explained by PAWS (Post Alcohol Withdrawl Syndrome). I would recommend anyone at any stage of recovery read through the PAWS information. It would have helped me not only understand but find some solutions to what I was experiencing that would have made the withdrawl easier to deal with.
Not everyone experiences what I went through. I do not post it to frighten or discourage anyone. I post it because I truely believe there is an easier way to deal with it than how I did it if one utilizes the PAWS site.
I can honestly say, though, that it has been well worth the struggle of those first few months. The life I have today can not compare to the my life of drinking. Even the withdrawl was not as bad as the way I felt on a regular basis drinking. The reason is the only hope I had while drinking was each morning I would wake up and hope I would not drink that day but without fail by afternoon I was already fighting with myself planning where my next drink was coming from. Since the first day I walked into A.A. I have had the hope that I can live life sober, happy, and be at peace with myself and the rest of the world most of the time. I never had that drinking except in fleeting glimpses. The hope I have today keeps me going even when life stuff happens.
If you are reading this wondering if you can do this recovery thing, if I can do it anyone can. I can honestly say that for me it has been well worth the work that recovery takes. I finally have a real relationship with my family, friends, and myself. I was only able to maintain superficial relationships prior to getting sober. Hang in there, the journey can be quite beautiful.
Judith