dgillz has it right. It's best not to make amends until we do the intermeaning steps. Right now, you just need to take a look. the purpose isn't to beat ourselves up and feel bad (though that's human). The purpose is to see how our destructive patterns of thought and behavior hurt others and ourselves, and ultimately, how they did NOT work for us. Did you behave this way in any other relationships? Comparing one person to another in order to get them to change? Have you had a pattern of unrealistic expectations of others? Have you had a pattern of judging others in order to avoid looking at your part? These kind of questions help us see our whole lives and relationships with others in a new light. Again, it isn't to beat up on ourselves but to see what worked and what didn't and what we want to change (with help from our higher power) later on in the steps.
Doing this work is takes courage and perserverence. Pat yourself on the back for your self-honesty and your willingness to change!