yes lateeda, that is an awesome link. thank the little angel cause there are things i would have never thought of.
so, now i'm thinking that maybe i can still get a car with the trade in and not use the money i have to put down on that and just have the car payment like someone would do if they didn't have the little bit of extra money and then i would still at least have that little bit of cushion. it is not much, but it would at least maybe buy me a couple of months and that way i could have both a place of my own and the car.
so, i just posted on my other thread how i was feeling. i had a talk with AH last night, of course, everything was calm, so that has me thinking well, maybe if i leave him completely alone and he leaves me completely alone i could manage to stay in the house with him.
i told him that i had an atty. at work that would do the dissolution for us. he said last night that he is pretty much agreeing to give me most of everything. BUT, he will not sign or file for the dissolution until there is a for sale sign in the front yard of the house. he really has no plans to fix his mess in the kitchen anytime soon though, as i had thought all along-he has found that it is going to cost more money to fix than he had thought and can't match the woodwork. soo, we will probably take a huge loss in settling it as is.
as hard as it is, i think i am just going to have to bite the bullet and face the inevitable and call next week for the realitor to just get it sold asap. i mean, it is not like i could afford it on my own. it is too big a house and, he has said that he does not want to live there anymore. so, no matter what happens, it is not like we are going to stay in that house anyway right? so, better sooner than later to move on. it is just hard to see all the dreams i had for us in that home go. did i mention i love the location and feel secure (lol-just as far as the home goes) there. BUT, nobody feels really secure or comfortable when they move to a new place do they? it is part of life moving right?
okay, so, we both agreed that we probably would not be abe to live together while in the process of divorce because what if it takes a year to sell the house? are we going to stay together for a whole other year ? i can't imagine that. so, i did tell him that if i moved i would probably just do it suddenly and that when i did all the utilities would be put in his name and i would basically just leave him there to handle things. so, i guess i have told him my intentions. WHY DOES PART OF ME FEEL GUILTY ABOUT JUST LEAVING HIM THERE BY HIMSELF IN THE HOUSE AND WORRYING ABOUT HIM????? i kinda feel like it is a really cold cruel thing to do.
he has talked about moving out himself, but that would leave me in the house, which i guess would be okay. heck, with him out, i would probably do a whole lot better getting things ready to sell. so it would depend if i could wait him out in moving.
i don't know. i think this weekend i plan on actually calling the apartment complex where i would like to live and at least seeing what my options there are. heck, if i get really brave or depending on how things go this weekend i just might actually sign a lease! and just be out. everyone is telling me that this is what i need to do, including family, so maybe they can see clearer than i can right now.
just take the leap of faith and like everyone else said. i will be able to focus and accomplish things a lot quicker that way right. literally take it one day at a time!!!