Welcome,
First, your "why's" can be answered through education about the family disease of alcoholism and at Al Anon meetings. You can find comfort and help in how to take care of youself and remain calm and happy during a dfficult time.
And the other comment I wanted to make is about a sober person I know, in the program, who is a bar owner and remains sober...so if they want it bad enough thy can have it no matter what the occupation. If he golfs...someone is there to buy a round...or if he plays softball, or goes to a wedding or reunion. My only point here is not to concern yourself too much with the nature of his job. Alcohol is around all of us a good part of the time and it does not make the majority of us alcoholics...it is a disease.