Thread: So confused
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Old 06-05-2002, 10:52 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
bonbon
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North America
Posts: 362
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Little One,
Welcome first of all to this site! We are a big family who is in your shoes, there are some wonderful people here.

I am sorry you are feeling the way you are. I know what your going through, as does everyone here. My A is my spouse of 8 years. We also have a daughter together. We have split 3 different times.

The loved ones around the alcoholic/addict are very affected by their disease. The terminology used for our trouble is co-dependency. The effects can last on us even while not with the alcoholic, this is what I have learned about it.

I asked the same question, WHY? WHY? do I want this person in my life...the best analogy I have heard is when they are gone, its like the alcohlic looses the drink,or the addict looses the drug, something near and dear to them, whereas with us, we are too loosing something near to us, were gonna have those feelings, were going to want for them to be back. I have, lots of people here have too. You have to decide to step out of their lives, and into your own, and into your own recovery to begin to work on YOU. Take the focus off of him. It is hard, I struggle with it every day.

The comment you made about him saying you were the only person he ever quit drinking for...They cannot quit for anyone but themselves, he cannot want to change for you, no matter how good it sounds to you, he has to want it for HIM.

When you love somebody who is affected by the disease of addiction alcohol or drugs, it is a heartbreaking thing to watch. It is even more heartbreaking to realize you have to Let go of them, and Let God, (or your HP) take it from there.

Ok, I went a little bit on a rampage, hope I didnt overwhelm ya much, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> I think I need to tell myself these things more often.

Keep coming back~~ Were here..
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