freya

Well, actually I found that Confucius quotation one day when I was about 5 1/2 weeks into what was shaping up to be a very abusive relationship with a friend who I dated briefly when I was separated from my partner. This person was also a recovering addict/alcoholic who came from an extremely absuve-in-every-way family. We had been really good friends but as soon as our relationship became romantc/sexual, it was like someone flipped a switch with her and she went from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. I realize looking back on it now, that she had no healthy model for a relationship and, in her mind, if there was a relationship going on someone had to be the abuser -- and, since it clearly wasn't going to be me, she very generously stepped up to the plate.

So, like I said, about 5 1/2 weeks into this BS, after she had behaved particularly badly one day (emotionally, I'm not talking physical here because I would have been so gone immediately) I was doing my usual trying-to-figure-out-it-and-what-I-should-do-about-it crap and I just off-handedly picked up this daily reader (not a 12 step one and one I very rarely look at) and opened in up and there was that Confucius quotation like BAM! Right in my face!

Persoanlly, I figure that when HP tells me someting that directly and that strongly, not paying attention is just like daring Him to get out the 2x4...which, really, is an experience I prefer to avoid if at all possible....So, I did what I was told and headed for the door post haste.....Now, 5 1/5 weeks may not qualify as "immediately," but, for me, when it comes to relationships, it's pretty d*mn close!

freya