Carrie I do see your point, I didn't ask to get addicted to meth, but I did.
I was finallyyyyy able to please EVERYONE!!!
But like drugs do then the horror story comes, and reality hits. It is very confusing, or it was for me.
But what I think you are missing, is 'most' of these people on this forum 'get that'.
None of them think, we did it on purpose, and they do have unconditional love, and of all people especially Greet.
Most of the people on here have been to hell and back with their addicts and the place they are at now is a form of tough love. Tough love does not mean they don't love their addicts unconditionally especially the Moms.
They are not talking about addicts who are coming to them asking for help.
They are not turning their back on any addict.
I have seen some of these people on this forum get so intertwined with their addict that they become the ones who end up suicidal, some of these people have lost their cars, houses, savings, dignity, friends, etc. over their addicts,
eventually they have to step back and take care of themselves,
It is not their responsibility to fix their addict but it is their responsibility to take care of themselves, if they let themselves fall to pieces they wouldn't be any good to themselves or anyone around them, and that is not fair to anyone.
You are talking about Your story, and judging them for theirs.
Thank you for your eloquent words. I came to SR for my addiction, and quickly learned I also needed help dealing with the addict in my life. I lost my home eventually to an addict who was functional for years. I lost possessions and blamed for them missing. I got to the point I was suicidal over taking care of my addict.
Carrie, you have not been in my position. I ask you to please read Done's words again. See that we are not hating the addict. We just need to take care of ourselves as well.
So you expect everyone to go down with the addict. I'm sorry but I would never want my Mom to have to go through my addiction, and that is exactly why I did not tell her, the thought of her worrying about me, lying in bed thinking about me doing lines, not being able to stop, thinking about killing myself, I cannot imagine putting her through that. I know what it would do to my Mom, and I've seen what it does to these women watching their children go through it, you have no idea the pain they go through, at some point you have to draw your boundaries.
I will not be a part of my mom's drinking, and it's not because I'm ashamed of her, I can't handle it.
Agreed. Until one has been through it all with their addict, one can't share ESH because they don't have the experience, strength and hope of dealing with an addict.
First of all you are jumping to a lot of conclusions by assuming that they haven't, second of all some of them are broke because of the money they have spent on rehabs, detox's, third, some of them just don't have the money.
If an addict is 'that desperate and wants to stop', he/she will find a way to stop.
They don't need someone taking them anywhere.
Agreed. My mother was offered a place at Betty Ford. Not through force, but through an aunt who was willing to empty out her retirement fund. My mother refused because it was over 100 miles away, and they didn't offer comfort meds.
No one threw in the towel, and no one gave up.
I'm not sure why you keep throwing that around,
but if he 'didn't love him' do you think he'd be on
a recovery board asking for help and advice?
This brought tears to my eyes. I've been accused my some in my life for limiting my contact with my mother. Yet, here I am seeking help and advice. Carrie, do you really think I don't care?