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Old 11-18-2007, 12:05 PM
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guineapigjude
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
A little glimpse of reality

Like so many of us here, I've spent way to much time minding XAH's business over the past few months, getting annoyed/angry/jealous when I hear about him taking out the new girlfriend or buying her things, imagining that the two of them are having the life I wanted with him, etc etc.
I've been working hard on this, I guess you could say I've even been wrestling with my HP over it. And I've been wishing my HP would just take it all and help me get to a more peaceful place.
Today as I was reading my Bible, I came across a passage in Romans, 1:32. As I read it, I finally got it. I've been fighting the 4th and 5th steps for so long ... it felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I finally felt like there was light in every corner of my being. (Not trying to persuade anyone to accept my HP, by the way ~ just sharing) It was liberating to accept my part in everything, honestly and completely.
So what happened next? The kids came home from their brief visit with XAH. He sent me a pointsetta. He lamented to the kids that he'd be spending Thanksgiving alone.
The moral of the story? His life isn't the picnic I obsessed it to be, what a waste of my energy and time! Mostly, I learned I need to worry about keeping my own house clean. That's energy well spent!!!
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