Thanks so much everyone. I fell so alone and so depressed and confused. I talked to him today and he told me that me asking him questions is making him want to get high. It's always my fault. I fall into the trap and then try to suck up so that i won't lose him. His calling me down has made my esteem so low that i think all i deserve is a crack head who decides when he loves me. I don't even know why i bother. I mean i'm 26! He's 22. I went through life with an alcoholic father and my mother never left his side and so i guess i think i can fix him. I live in PEI in Canada and we don't have any good programs here. You can make more drug deals in treament then you can on the outside. They kept him for for 4 days! Anyway i'm feeling pretty low but it feels o much better to hear from all of you that have been through this yourself or with loved ones. I hope you're all right and it does get better. I just wish i had the strength to walk away, but then i think what would happen if he died and it was my fault for not being there. Anyway thanks again, this is so great and i'll keep reading.