I believe what an addict perceives as love is truly what they believe is love but is it the kind of love you deserve? Or do you deserve more?
I only have my experience to share....
My exhusband was loving me to death with his crack and cocaine addiction, disappearing acts, using in the house, spending all of his money on drugs, keeping me in a constant state of worry, anger, frustration, panic and depression. Did he really love me...yes...I believe so but he only loved me the way he knew how at the time and it came in forms of many apologies and many "i love you's". Was that enough? For me it wasn't....I can not live on words alone. I need to see action following those words otherwise they're just words. You know when he showed me he really loved me?....When after asking multiple times on many many different occasions that he leave me....he finally did right before I filed for a divorce. I asked him if he hated me that much that he needs to hurt me over and over again....I asked that he leave me because I wasn't strong enough to follow through on my own. By leaving he showed me that for once in the first three and a 1/2 years of our marriage he thought about my needs and my happiness over his own.
Isn't that the kind of love we deserve all the time and not in spurts. Someone to consider our needs and our happiness. An active addict can not do that. They are physically and emotionally unable to provide us the love we deserve because they are too busy trying to meet their own needs.
So you just have to ask yourself...What do you deserve?