I reached my bottom when my AH chose to allow his ex wife to insult be and scream at me in my own home. That was the last straw in all the stuff I put up with in 4 yrs of marriage. I also finally understood that I was not helping him by protecting him from the consequences of his choices.
I left and will be filing for divorce. He has stopped drinking but still does not admit to being an alcoholic and of course isn't in any sort of recovery program. I don't know when or if he will hit his bottom. But that is no longer my problem. I want nothing more for him than him to find his way into recovery but I cannot do anything to help him get there.
You have my prayers as you struggle with all that is going on in your life.