Uncertainty, it seems we're living parallel lives, except you're further along. I can understand from your other thread how you wonder if you should get back on the roller coaster after they start a program for a few months. I though my AH would seriously embrace AA. He did a few times for a while, but starts drinking so much again that I guess he thinks it would be hypocritical for him to go and he hasn't for 6 weeks even though I was completely willing to drive him there, whenever. I guess I've completely run out of options to "help" him. He's been to rehab 3 times, short stints. I've gotten his family involved once, but now they don't want to deal with the alcohol issue anymore...they're tired of it and he's convinced them it's my fault he drinks because I'm the insane alcoholic.
So now where this leaves me is to focus on myself while he spirals again. When people say, "do something for yourself," I don't even know what that means. I mean, I think I do things for myself too...at least I'm accused of my selfishness and self involvement constantly.
I just can't stop obsessing about him. The more I try to think and do something else, the more I think of him. But he's off again on a binge, leaving me stuck running the business, again. I don't know where he is, again, but I'm quite certain he's not obsessing about me or giving me much thought at all except for how much he hates me.