Originally Posted by
Impurrfect 
Ruth -
Yes, it is possible he won't do it again. But it has to be HIS decision and something he wants for himself. I am a recovering crack addict and after being clean for a while, I relapsed. THAT was when I decided I never wanted to go back there.
One word of advice....it's not YOUR responsibility to "make sure he goes to meetings". He has to want to go to them for himself, or they will not help him. Meetings don't cure an addict. They only help the addict deal with life and not use. If he truly wants to not use again, he will do the "work" to ensure he doesn't use again (and it IS work - you have to learn other ways to cope with life). But if he goes to a meeting just because you want him to, he will end up resenting you and will get nothing out of it.
Keep posting here, and read other posts. The wonderful people here can help you to learn what is supporting & loving, and what is enabling.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
hello Amy
Thanks for the advice, you know after all this happened 2 weeks ago, I have had my ups and downs, sometimes I feel that I hate him, then I feel that I love him, then I feel sorry for him and then I look at him and I just cant believe it. He is very sorry about everything but it is hard to believe him because I feel he has lied to my all this years. I know that sometimes I forget that he is an addict and i am taking everything personal. i just don't want to wonder if he is doing it or not i drive my self crazy and when he is not home i look everywhere to see if he as it somewhere. What if i really miss the signs??? What should I look for???. I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life i love him with all my heart, but he has to show the same for me. I have 2 small children and I worry about them. My husband told me that without me he wont make it. I feel that instead of a husband I have a son. He broke my heart in 1 million pieces!!!. He is acting like everything is going to be OK but I am so disappointed, sad and devastated. We are going to go to a marriage counseling next week and he is also going to a substance abuse therapy plus AA.
The therapist told me that this is not my fault. I feel that he does not love me because if he did he would not have done it. When he did it back in august (witch I did not know) in a wedding that we went, we stayed in a 5 start resort, it was like a dream so after the party we went to the pool with a few people late at night so while I went to get my bathing suit he did it (he confessed 2 weeks a go, the second time after that was 2 weeks ago when he got really drunk) that night he was so loving he told me wonderful things it was all love!! I felt like the luckiest woman in the whole world all he did was talk the whole night. But he was under the influence of cocaine and I did not know that really hurts I want a normal guy. At least I can say that he loves me, but it is just alot to deal with.
I don't want to live without him, he is the love of my life, but I am afraid that he will do it again and that scares me too.
Amy sorry that I wrote so much I hope you don't get board with this and sorry if my spelling is not that good