Do something different for a change. Do something for yourself. My marriage was 9 years as well, and he just always seemed like he could gamble it away. Alcoholics are great manipulators, he knows how to push your buttons, he knows how to make you feel sorry for him. My ex and I are separated, we have been for almost a year, when I put him out, he was still drinking for several months, after about 5 months I started to date someone and that was a waking point for him, he realized that he didnt have me on the "hook" anymore. So he started to go to AA. He has been sober for over 90 days, and I still find myself wanting to get on that rollercoaster again. But, the man I started to date is really kind and respectful and I am really finally realizing that I deserve that. When you live in that chaos for so long, it starts to seem normal. when you get away for a bit, you will have more clarity. It was/is hard to let go when you have a history with someone, but if you really look back it was a bad history,and you deserve a good future.