plum beautiful, thank you all for your insight...I need to go back to the basics....His problems are not my problems...I can let go of that. If he really wanted to stay here he would make things work for hiself...ie putting the effort in getting a place of his own if things were so bad for himself. To be honest it is somewhat of a turnoff for him to have even asked.
What I am going to do is talk to him about it tonight, he is coming over for dinner and I am going to tell him I am not ready to have anyone living with me...and leave it at that.
I was telling my best girlfriend this morning, the one thing that is so satisfying is the fact that I am in control, I am independant whereas at one point in my life those thoughts would have scared me. It feels really good...and I am not afraid to be stung a little bit, I can be ok. Back to the basics is right....cant cure it, cannot control it, didnt cause it. And darn sure dont want to fix anything.
Love you all!!