....uuummmmm detaching. Well, if you go back and read some of the previous posts you will find alot of discusion about this very thing. It is about separating yourself...knowing where you end and he begins. Like knowing that you hate to be around him when he is drinking and going and doing something that you enjoy, like you have planned. It is about knowing that this is HIS problem an NOT yours and allowing him to deal with it however he chooses and not tring to do it for him. It is about loving the alcoholic and hating the disease. It is about loving the man and having compassion for the battle he is fighting and being able to walk away and allow him to fight it himself...even when he is in the midst of a self-pity party and your heart is braking for him. Sometimes we have to turn away and allow the to lay in their own vomit, face a jail sentence, lose a job...in other words face the results that they have created on their own.
The "with love" part for some of us is not always easy..but we are not perfect. Leave the room maybe but don't slam the door. Leave the house but don't gun the engine...leave him laying where ever he passes out but throw a blanket over him...that is with love.
Detachment is peace amid the storm...
Love, JT