Thread: Hi, I'm new
View Single Post
Old 05-10-2002, 10:48 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Sugarplum
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Smile

Oh my goodness.... you all ARE a great bunch of people! What sweet, encouraging words you all give me. Thank you soooo much for that. It really does help to know there are others out there that are just as confused as I am but it makes me sad as well because it's such an awful place to be. I guess I got so wordy because my suspicions were confirmed last night about him starting again after over a week sober. This on and off crap is getting real old, it just teases me with what could be if he would just would NOT pick up that first drink. He says things like he wished he could move to Saudi Arabia where they do not allow alcohol so that he wouldn't be tempted. He seems to want someone else to 'force' him to give it up... lock him away so he couldn't get to a liquor store.

Another question i had was how do you detach with love? I am planning on going to play Bingo with my oldest daughter tonight (my youngest is spending the night with someone because she can't handle being around him when he's drinking) and i feel guilty. I feel like I shouldn't go and leave him here alone. I KNOW i have to live my life, but he makes me feel like i'm abandoning him when i do things like this. His love language is spending time together but when he's drinking i can't stand being in the same room with him and I know he doesn't like it when i go with my friends or even with our daughters and leave him behind, he feels like I'm putting my friends or the girls in front of him. But, I feel like when he drinks, he is putting the vodka in front of ME, especially when he knows how much i hate it when he drinks it. I am almost positive you all are going to tell me that he is trying to manipulate me, but i just wanted to see what you had to say.

And again, what exactly is detaching with love... can someone give me an example?

You all are great and I'm sorry to be so needy right now, I know in a few days I'll feel better and hopefully I'll be able to encourage some of you. Each time he falls off his wagon, it takes me a couple days to come to grips with it.

Thanks again... everyone

Sugarplum