Amy,
Reading your comment, I immediately started humming the old song "Feelings!" Geez, they are such a bear to deal with, but then they are equally a blessing!!
The hardest part for me, is to stay out of my "head"!!
I constantly have to "sensor" my thoughts...Whenever I catch myself saying, "I think", I FORCE myself to replace it with "I FEEL"!
When it comes to my childhood, esp. the rotten 15 yr. adoption I endured, the foremost feeling is "anger/rage." However, I am getting much better at handling it, because I learned long ago in therapy, that my "past" is my "legacy", and because of it, I am a pretty fantastic person today!!
I cannot change one single thing that happened to me as a child, teenager, college kid,or drug shrouded adult; BUT.....I CAN change how I LOOK at it!! I can either have a constant pity party,
or I can look at the past, and take from it, ONLY that which makes me a better person today!! I have chosen the latter...
Give yourself time...The majority of the adult influence in my life, were "sick" people, and I suffered the consequences. However, I refuse to stoop to their level, and be "sick" too! That's their problem, and if they don't care to do something about themselves, that's their choice..All I can do is take care of me in the most positive way possible...
I believe, atleast for me, that THOUGHTS are what hurt you; FEELINGS heal you."
"What you are is your folk's fault. But if you stay that way, it
is your own fault."
Smilefully,
Bonnie!
