Great thread!!!!
The one thing that immediately comes to my mind is how if all I do is stay clean, without working any kind of program, I become the meanest, most miserable, ugly, unhappy SOB walking. And everyday brings thoughts of tasting a bullet.
To meet me, you wouldn't know I was clean, as all my actions, words, and attitude are that of a practicing addict, or worse.
For me, that's why it's not enough. Being a living, walking definition of misery is no way to live.
That has been me a few times since I have been clean. That is me when I get complacent!!!!!
Sometimes , doing my best is sitting on my hands and just
draging my ass to a meeting...on a bad day, that's about
as best as i can do is not pick up no matter what.
I don't know..I'm an addict. This is some of the crap I go through,
not so much that life throws anything different at me then other peaple.
My mind, body, emotions, process it all wierd.
I guess that's what i get out of working the 12steps. i learned
more about myself and learn some living tools and coping skills,
so I don't have to use. During good times and bad times.
YEP been there too. And well said.