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Old 11-01-2007, 09:07 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
bookmiser
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
I don't know what to do. I can't face the prospect of having him live under our roof and turning our lives upside down. The idea that he'll "get back on his feet" is ridiculous and we all know it; he'll spend his time sleeping, staring at the TV, and hanging out with the few doper friends he's got left. He'll trash the house, leave dirty dishes everywhere, and search through our personal belongings while we're at work (looking for checks, credit cards, and things he can sell). Our phone bills will be filled with weird long-distance calls made in the dead of night. And, of course, my codependent wife will spend gobs of money buying whatever he wants to "start his new life." (He's learned that saying the words "start a new life" triggers a shopping spree.)
Wow! My husband and I have been where you and your wife are at.
This "rant" sounds all too familiar and just like what my husband use to say.
We're on the same page now, btw.
It takes us moms a little longer to "get" it.
I love my son more than life itself, but have given his care and keeping over to God, so that hubby and I can live the rest of our lives in a semi-peaceful state.
Sending prayers that a halfway house or Oxford house has an opening for your son and he can begin his recovery journey by standing on his own two feet without mom and dad leading him by the hand. I'm all for supporting recovery for our loved ones, but there comes a time when we need to just step back and give them room to sink or swim.
I pray your son decides to swim.
Hugs from someone who's been there.


Linda
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