I can totally relate to what you are saying. I am the co-dependent in our family. My AS is 20 your story sounds identical. Just this morning I went to the mail box thank goodness I closed my account the few days I let him in the house he tried to cash over 300,000 worth of cheques. They will destroy marrages, the whole family unit. It is an illness the three C's. My son has pitted my spouse and I against each other numerous times. A master at manipulation. Each time it was going to different, one more time. Every time I let him back in he slept all day, paced at nite, stole everything from us, smashed up our vehicle the list goes on. There are halfway homes, my son is in a shelter believe it or not if he is living with us the welfare will not help him find a place if he is homeless he has more of a chance. Weve done the letter thing, I even had him sign a contract of boundaries. That was a joke lated two days. Each time I have asked him to leave it kills me. I will no longer put our family through that. it seems wherever they are there is chaos. Trust is a learned thing and i have told my son no money cigarettes, nothing. I told him find a job show us that he can work daily get a room for rent and then just maybe some trust may start developing. As my spouse said this kid is not going to dictate our lives anylonger. We need to work on our recovery. i know he is your son and there is nothing worse in the world then to watch them destroy themselves. But they need to take some responsibility. Good Luck