amnesia57,
I was your wife. The codependent, begging, pleading lady who always wanted to give our addicted sons one more chance.
My husband is not a codependent and never will be one, saw the situation for what it was.
It took me quite a while, but now my husband and I are on the same page.
Changing my codependent behaviors started when someone here told me that "I could enable my son to his death"
That sentence and attending meetings changed my outlook.
Will your wife attend meetings with you?
Hugs,