Elana

Here is the story. As most of you know XABF moved out just over a year ago. I pined and wept and came to SR and went to AlAnon and did the Melody Beattie books. I improved. I have come a LONG way baby.

I found out XABF had been cheating. The broken hearted crap went out the window and was replaced by rage and the rage has slowly been replaced by acceptance of the whole thing, but not forgetting.. a feeling of calm most of the time has replaced the rage. I still feel violated though.. and that is going to take more time. At least I understand that it will take time and I can let it happen.

But, recovery ain't cure and "most of the time" doesn't mean always and forever. Just remember that.

So here is what happened.

My XABF owes me money. He will likely always owe me money. He has no credit and used my name to get credit from the unsuspecting after he moved out and after I found out about the cheating yadda yadda yadda....

Anyhow, I do not believe a debt of money should be forgiven and I sure do not think using my name to get credit is a good thing. So, since publishing in the NewsPaper that I no longer have any association to XABF no longer holds legal water in my State, I sent out letters. I sent out letters to everyone who may have known he lived here stating that he and his business no longer reside here; I am not responsible for any debts incurred by him or his business and to get hold of him, he now lives at and I give out his current legal addy and his current PO box addy. He keeps two addys so he can correspond and cheat on whoever he is living with and so he can do his "deals" out of her sight (his MO). I sent these to everyone.. the IRS, State Tax, advertising accounts, all the various vendors etc.

Three times I have sent these letters out as bills have arrived for him at my house for him, but sent to me (they know I paid them in the past).

Before doing any of this (sending out letters) I had asked him repeatedly to not use my Addy and to get his changed. He did not do it.

No letters have gone out in a while. However, every month I send him a bill for the money he owes (No expectation but I believe if I do nothing, nothing will happen.. and if I do something it improves the odds that maybe he will pay me.. so I do it).

Recently I received something I assume was from him. It had no return addy and no letter or signature.. was just info off the internet that was something he wanted me to see. The information was threatening. I burned this. It was of no interest to me and anonymous stuff gets burned along with any other papers I don't want to go out in the trash.

Well, none of this has happened in awhile.. no anonymous letters in and no letters from me out..

BUT, today I go get my mail and there is a letter in there and it has no return address (this is how he sent the other stuff.. no return addy). I put it back in the box and took my walk and the whole walk I stressed over this stupid thing in the mail box.. "What aggravation is he causing me now" was all I could think. I was really UP TIGHT about it.

And as I am walking along I am thinking that I will just take it and burn it and never open it. Yes. That was my decision. And I STRESSED over that!!!!!! Geeze Loueeeze!!!!

So I get back from my walk and pick up the mail. I look again at the No return Addy letter and can see thru the envelope that it is printed (not hand written like the envelope) and it appears to have a logo on it, which is not at ALL like XABF. I decide to open it.

Now.. what is next Tuesday? Huh? What DAY is it? Could it be ELECTION DAY? In the envelope, with a 1st class stamp on it is a CAMPAIGN LETTER. It is NOTHING from the X.. nothing from his current GF.. NOTHING AT ALL TO STRESS OVER. It is simply someone asking for my Vote.

It took me over an HOUR to settle down from this silliness (MY silliness). I have thought some on this and I gotta say, "Once a Codie, Always a Codie!"

One thing this DID do for me was to make me think that I should just quit sending this jerk ball any more bills. Let that go too, tho it KILLS me to do it. I used to work in collections and I was GOOD at it. I got money from people who hadn't paid in months. I belive if you incur debt you should pay it..

But you know, sometimes it just ain't worth it.
I think tonight proved that, even to hard headed me.
__________________________________________________ ____________________
PS: Please Vote. If you don't vote you have not had your one legal say.. and if you don't vote you have no right to complain about the Guvmint.. so Vote and complain cuz that is your right and not everyone has that right!!