Originally Posted by
sobercuse 
((((Graci))))
I'd be mad too. The nerve of him.
Graci, please don't try to be his hero.
Let it be,
In recovery from Codependency we learn to remove the victim......the victim is us.
HUgs to you. I struggle at times too.
I wish you would go to some Alanon or CODA meetings, it's a great learning experience.
Im not sure what that means trying to be his hero? I sent him a long letter about a week ago saying that I have realized that I cant save him and realized that I actually felt it was my responsibility to try to save him. I told him I have to trust him and God to save him and that I have to take care of myself and my 2 kids, so that is what Im starting to do. Had a meeting with a personal trainer, cuz I need to get back to the gym and try to gain some weight, Ive lost so much during this whole crisis. Now the not sending money and not writing letters, well these are huge steps for me, cuz I think about 20 times a day about things I would like to tell him in a letter, so it was always very helpful to me to write to him, made me feel closer i guess. But why am I trying to feel closer to somebody that although he loves me doesnt try to feel closer to me or get help so he can continue our relationship. I am taking a huge step back here. I am not to the point of cutting off all contact with him yet but if this continues maybe I will get to that point..