Graci, you are right to hold back any money and to feel bad about this whole situation.
Just because he is in jail doesn't mean you need to do anything. Whether he wants $5 or $50, it is YOUR money and you don't have to feel guilty not giving him anything, especially when he treats you like this. Jail is his consequence, not yours, and you don't have to do time with him.
I learned a long time ago to trust my instinct and if your instinct is telling you that something is not right, then trust that and be true to yourself.
Sending a bucket of hugs because you sound like you need them.
