Sure... Okay... but hooooooold everything!
Let's also look, Rose, at all the things that you assumed you would be doing FOR HIM. He kills the spiders, you clean the tub. What you had was a preconceived notion of what male/female roles would be in your marriage. I expect, though, that in your fantasy while he was taking care of you, you were also taking care of him. That's the way some relationships work. It's not surprising to find that roles need to be adjusted to fit individual abilities and tastes... HOWEVER... what I hear you saying is "I have to just take care of myself." Okay. Groovy. Now, does he just have to take care of himself, too? Or is the scenario now "Since I have been taking care of myself for years now, I will acknowledge that I am the only one who is going to do it and that is going to just have to be okay with me but OH... I'd better go wipe his butt because toilet paper is too mechanically advanced for him and he's headed out the front door with his pants down again." Hmmmm?
Hey. If I'm gonna be a doormat... he'd BETTER provide the floor. What? A do it myself floor kit? Cool. Wipe your feet outside, buster.