The problem with being a people pleaser is our emotions are tied in with that person being pleased all the time. What happens when that person is not pleased?What happens when that person becomes angry, critical, moody and withdrawn?
I too felt I gave 100% of myself and in return I expected the same. The next problem with this scenario is that very few people can give 100% of themself 100% of the time and I very often misunderstood my partners need to be alone as a sign of rejection and abandonment. We very often push people away with our need to love and our need to feel loved.Such is the cycle of the love addict and the codependent.
Loving ourselves does not seem as equal or important as the love we crave from someone else but it is in fact the highest form of love. It might sound cliche but when we understand self love we can accept it when we see it in others and can accept the limitations in others.