Bella_Fox

Well, I haven't had a drink for six years. I should preface with that. I went cold turkey because I moved home to deal with an eating disorder and left the whole lifestyle behind (I had been working in the music industry).

Anyway, throughout the last six years, I haven't really allowed myself to be put in situations that I would find tempting or triggering -- for example, I don't go to parties or clubs, anymore, and I was in a relationship (which just ended) with a guy who was totally straight and narrow and never drank. One thing, though, is that sometimes I would purposely do other things to trigger myself, just in more covert ways. For example, I'd purposely watch movies that I knew would make me miss the lifestyle and I've found that once that happened, I would start getting preoccupied with the thought of drinking again for awhile.

Now, I'm at that point again -- probably prompted by the last six months which have seen the demise of my four-year relationship, a lay-off from my job, and some ongoing health issues. Now, I'm really preoccupied with it. I even found myself doing something juvenile like filling out a "Drinking Survey" on MySpace! What the hell...?

I'm talking to my therapist about this, and he thinks I may need to seek some sort of treatment (OP) because I never did, I just stopped. But I'm racked with guilt. I feel like going to A.A. or a sobriety group or anything else would disappoint my loved ones who have witnessed my sobriety for six years.



Thank you for the inspiring words, Carol.