What I have come to realize is that some of the worst "stuff" my kid went through was EXACTLY what she needed to get to where she was going.
MY way, was to protect her and shield her and STOP those lessons! How thoughtless of me.
Today, I know that if the addiction (or alcoholism) is active, I cannot have my daughter in my home. But I don't put her out to punish her... just to save me.
Lots and lots of Alanon meetings help me keep the difference between HER stuff and MY stuff very clear. I wish you well.
(((Lobo)))