When my thoughts are full of bitterness, fear, self-pity, and dreams of revenge, there is little room for love or for the quiet voice of guidance within me. I am willing to love myself enough to admit that resentments hold me back, and then I can let them go.
There was a time in my life when I was VERY resentful... and I was resentful for so many things! I resented that HIS problem affected MY life. I resented that I had to do so much work at those times he was incapable of doing it. I resented my mother for raising me to be a classic codependent. The list goes on and on.
When I first got to Al Anon, I was in SO much pain that all I could do was cry. Every once in awhile, a really good snippet of recovery got thru to me. One of the first that I remember was this:
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
With the help of my sponsor, I learned that resentments and forgiveness have nothing to do with "them" and everything to do with me. As long as I harbor a resentment towards someone, I am giving that person power over me and my life. Forgiveness doesn't mean that what that person did to me was OK... it means that I am letting go of the resentment AND the cause of it so that I can regain my peace, serenity and power. I make a decision that the person/situation is no longer entitled to occupy so much of my brain space...