This is a really interesting point. I met very few men in al-anon in the UK, although they were certainly welcome. I have often wondered why that might be, given that I suspect that quite a few men I have met might perhaps benefit from the message, if not the format.
Most men I know outwith the recovery field have pretty strong boundaries in comparison to most women I have met and whilst they are not necessarily the most compassionate in their reference to former partners, they sure know how to get out before the proverbial hits the fan. And, ime, the majority of men in that situation are far less analytical about the situation and are less likely to take "blame" on board than a lot of women I know. Someone posted a thread recently about the differing thoughts following an incident in a car and I know I find it funny because there is such a ring of truth in there.
There is nothing emasculating about seeking help, tollbooth, and it is surely true that self-aware people are much more attractive and prodictive members of society, which is why you are going to al-anon, right? To become more self-aware?
Oh, and I always love to hear from male members (!), whether here on in meetings. Much of what we experience is not gender specific and I know that personally men sharing have helped me put away the "silly woman" voice that sometimes creeps in. And I have never been anti-male - I adore men. I just dislike abusive, aggressive, gasping and manipulative people, some of which happen to be male.