I wanted to thank you ALL for replying to my "So Alone" post and the private messages.
I really don't know what I would do without all of you. You have all helped me soooooooo much. You don't even know. You guys are always in my thoughts.....
After that I had a conversation with by best friend, and she picked me up.
I got into this mind frame of... "it is time to look WITHIN ME"
So now I always remind myself: "Look inside you!!!!!!!!!! What about YOU?!?! How do YOU feel?! Who are YOU?!?!"
I do not want to spend ANY more of my mind power thinking about my ex. I have started to direct all that energy(a whole lot!) INWARDS.
I am starting to be comfortable with being single... I am reading about it.. and learning it isn't so bad. I am having urges to join clubs.. and experience new things. I think that is big for me!!
There is so many things I can do! And I wrote a list of them! ....
I even wrote an escape plan to follow for if he ever shows up on a sunday (It's simple.. when he is done his workout and is about to come to chat with me, I leave the building for my break.. I walk home, to the store.. get out of the building!!!!)
AND IT WILL WORK.
Every week I don't talk or see him... I am put 10 steps ahead.... and it feels so good!!
I just really looking forward to/looking to get to the place where my ex doesn't affect me anymore....it doesn't bother me, it doesn't make me emotional, it doesn't fase me. And I WILL GET THERE.
My ex is out there living his life. And I am to now!
I feel really good. I don't know how long this will last. But I am trying to be positive, and savour how good I feel. I know I am still on the rollercoaster and it has its ups and downs... but I need to try and stay positive.....
I am also going away for a week... to Vancouver to visit my brother. So it will be totally stressfree.... I will have time to MYSELF!!!!!!!!
This next week is so busy with school... exams, essays. And then I leave.
And all of this is putting me so many steps forward....
And I have to thank you all again for listening!