Good morning, thanks for that post Lilya, I don't really know why telling her to come here triggered that panick atack last night, at least I recognized it and went strait to bed. Glad I didn't have any alcohol in the house, I would of caved and binged for sure. I know family is a big trigger for me and she is the only one trying,really trying to support me, and help me to heal, It's a trigger I have to overcome I am ever going to reestablish communication and relationship with my family and be accepted as not crazy. I am reading the book 'Healing after Trauma' right now It's written by Dena Rosenbloom PhD(clinical psychologist) and Mary Beth Williams PhD, LCSW,CTS both are experts in treating trauma survivors and the book is a self help workbook. Don't think I'll be online for very long today,. I am on dial-up and everything takes so long to load I leave the internet on and my pages open, even when I'm away from the computer. I'll go back to your post and get the name of the book you mentioned, Maybe my next read.