Never,
I don't know you very well, but I am sending prayers and blessings on you and your son. I know when you get the proper help you will start to feel better. It just sounds like you are falling out of life for a while and need to get back on track. Be gentle with yourself and slowly your body and mind will heal and you will be able to be the person that you want to be for yourself and your son. Maybe you can't be the mom that you want to be right now........it's okay, sometimes moms get sick and we just need a little time and TLC to feel better. You need someone to love you and take a little time with you. Surround yourself with those kinds of people.
Take care, Sweetie.
Lo