But in my mind I'm not a codie, I'm a mother. 
I said that when I first came here sad and desparate in April. I hate that word, kinda like I hate "addict", sounds so awful. But look up the definition. You are codependent! We/mothers also enable their behavior.
What stopped me? At my AD's 5th rehab, the counselor who has been clean 25 years told me "You are going to love her to DEATH". I woke up quickly, started going to meetings, focusing on my shortcomings and changing myself. I will not help destory her, didn't think I was, but learned my helping her was in fact hurting her and only helping her to continue her behavior. I have learned when we cushion the fall, they learn nothing. I have learned so much here, better than any counselor I ever paid $$ to see.
When she called last week beaten and no where to go, I stood firm. She called her counselor and he got her detox and in a sober home. When I took her, she said I had changed. I have, she noticed and things changed also. I love her w/ all my heart, and to quote Carol Burnett (on her daughter Carrie's addicition) "sometimes you gotta love someone enough to let them hate you for a while"!
Nothing changes when nothing changes!
You will learn alot here, lots of experience more than me. Lot's of moms, and we all lean on each other. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found SR!
Prayers for you and your son,
susan